1. at Amsterdam Airport Schiphol

    at Amsterdam Airport Schiphol

  2. Online Harassment, Violence and The Need To Reclaim One's "Manhood"


    I recently wrote a thing about Christy Mack’s assault at the hands of her ex-boyfriend. One topic that I wanted to get into that didn’t quite fit in terms of the article is how the concept of “manhood” and masculinity ties into the abuse.

    Part of the narrative thread - especially the one put…

    Reblogged from: drnerdlove
  3. Filthy dirty naaaastyyyyy (at Chicken Shop & Dirtyburger, Whitechapel)

    Filthy dirty naaaastyyyyy (at Chicken Shop & Dirtyburger, Whitechapel)

  4. Reblogged from: rekall
  5. I will not negotiate with terrorists.


    This has nothing to do with games and is not a matter of legitimate public interest, but is simply a personal matter. I would hope and request that the games press be respectful of what IS a personal matter, and not news, and not about games. This is explicitly about my private life, which has…

    Lots of love and support, Zoe.

    Reblogged from: ohdeargodbees
  6. Purple and lemon selfiiiie (at Bethnal Green Gardens)

    Purple and lemon selfiiiie (at Bethnal Green Gardens)

  7. My travel bag went a little Wicked and the Divine (at Stepney Green)

    My travel bag went a little Wicked and the Divine (at Stepney Green)

  8. Regrammin’ me and @howardhardiman out in the sun (at Freshwater Bay Isle Of Wight)

    Regrammin’ me and @howardhardiman out in the sun (at Freshwater Bay Isle Of Wight)

  9. kira-meku:

    So there!
    Someone here on Tumblr stole the picture of my pants and I’m super bloody angry about it.

    So I’m uploading it myself now and already contacted the Tumblrsupport because I want to have the fake one deleted.

     It hurts so much that the stupid stolen one hit 50k that’s just bullshit and I wanna cry
    The next time you wanna upload that s*it of mine you gon’ ask me got it??

    So yeah those are the nearly finished pants i painted for my Nisha-cosplay.
    Nothing more to say…
    here’s my site which is also the source:


    Reblogged from: kira-meku
  10. Yes. Yes I really do. 

    Listen, there’s virtue in wanting Tomb Raider to move on, but there are so few AAA games these days that let the player experience the magic that used to happen in that very first Tomb Raider.

    1) Few AAA games today let the player feel vulnerable in the way that Tomb Raider allowed. The environments were vast, cavernous, mysterious. Unsettling. Lara’s body was spindly, looked gymnastic yet somehow frail. Her bare skin was showing. The ambient sound was sinister, echoing, quietly insidious. The environments felt somehow claustrophobic and vast at the same time.

    2) Tomb Raider used to be full of tension. Many of the elements of early Tomb Raiders, particularly the first and best, had more in common with Resident Evil and survival horror than it does with Uncharted. Animals would leap out at you with no warning; you had trouble navigating and controlling Lara just like Jill Valentine, you were constantly anticipating traps or failing bridges. Bats would take a lot of health off you. Lara’s scream as she fell was unsettling and stinging to the ear. Lara’s deaths were traumatic. 

    3) Although guns were your main mode of defence, they seemed more like milestones back then than collectibles, and I feel a lot like ammo was much scarcer back then. There was a sense of conservation (although not to the animals). Collecting things seemed difficult and rewarding because there were so few secrets, and they were legitimately hard to find, particularly because the environments were so labyrinthine and full of secret doors and hard-to-find levers. The achievements systems have probably screwed this up, because of the power fantasy emphasis, action games have become more about How Many Guns Can You Ram Into Your Shopping Trolley And Still Push It. Video games have become the fucking Dawn Of The Dead model: commercialist shit, all about how many shinies you can collect and not about what they do and when and why. We just run around environments these days picking up stuff and lobbing it any which way because there’s so much of it. We have become overstimulated babies in a toy shop. There’s value in constraint sometimes. Sometimes you want to have the leather bound classic instead of twenty trashy novels.

    4) There was time for wonder. These days in third person action games cutscenes happen, people talk too much, you are airdropped in and you are running from place to place as soon as you get there. There’s no respect for slow pacing because maybe the gamer might suddenly drift to sleep in the ten minutes you’d not had an explosion or someone radioing you to tell you to buck the fuck up. This means that hardly anything narratively speaking is a dramatic high point any more. Because you have no dramatic low point to compare it with. Compare with the excellent opening of Raiders of the Lost Ark. There’s no talking for a really long time. It’s about discovery. Then it’s about skill. Then it’s about running the fuck away. There’s hardly any man-on-man violence so that when it happens they emphasise it: the darts in the back.

    Indiana Jones’ primary job is to run away. Why are we making Lara Croft confront everything these days? In 1997 I made her run the fuck away.

    Look at Journey if you want an example of exceptional pacing: you could do that with an action game, it’s just that no one thinks about it and people focus test it to shit.

    I miss walking out into the coliseum arena and knowing some shit was going to go down there, but taking the time to stare in silence anyway. They preserved a lot of this feel in Tomb Raider Anniversary, but that game still wasn’t gloomy enough for me and I felt like a lot of the fear (e.g. the T-Rex moment) had been neutered.

    How I’d make an old-school feeling Tomb Raider without making it frustrating or boring

    If I were to do it, this is how I’d do it.

    1. Invest in environment artists and level design primarily, and get narrative designers in at the start. Plan to have large, gloomy, labyrinthine levels that intimidate the player, that scare the player. Use the Silent Hill method: there’s not usually any kind of enemy over the horizon most of the time, but you think there is and so you’re ready all the time.

    2. Lara Croft is a tomb raider. She probably works alone. So keep her alone. The original painted her as a bachelorette. There’s no way she gives two shits about coming home to a man or a woman. This is a person who fucks and leaves. She’s rich: she’s the Bruce Wayne model. And there is nothing well-adjusted about Bruce Wayne or Lara Croft.

    3. Understand that Lara Croft doesn’t even need to speak to have her be an interesting person, and so I would make her terse, so that she only speaks when she has to. She raids tombs because she likes the silence. Have her personality come through in the choices available to her. Steve Gaynor used to talk about this: what if a certain action were available to the player that demonstrated what sort of player you wanted to be, choices that change no variables in the game, but that tell you what kind of feeling you should have about it. Steve’s example was you could press a button at certain points to pray, but Lara’d probably take photographs. She’d probably document stuff. She’d probably cover her tracks for people trying to pursue her. Maybe she’d lay traps for the next tomb raiders. Maybe she would decide not to kill anything in the tombs - she’s an archaeologist. Why would she want to eliminate the things she finds on sight?

    If you want to introduce other characters, have them be dead on spikes in tombs, and have her recognise them, Alien-style. Or have Lara try to lure her enemies into being dead on spikes in tombs.

    4. Man what would I give to have Randy Smith make a Tomb Raider level.

    5. Do not start a reboot. Lara Croft has been young and in pigtails a number of times already. We can accept who she is because we have known who she is for a number of years. In many ways she is as ubiquitous as Mario, even outside of video games, and I couldn’t give a fuck how or why a plumber started rescuing a princess from a giant green whatever Bowser is.

    6. Make her older. Make her fucked off. Make her weary. Make her bad. Make her the Indiana Jones you see after he thinks Marion’s dead. Make her really quite aware of what she’s doing. Make her the Godfather of games. She knows she’s stealing history and you still admire her. Lara’s not young any more. Why are we treating her like she is? For some dumb idea of female attractiveness? Fuck that shit. Lara’s probably had spikes through every part of her body and I bet she has metal pins holding her limbs together. She’s sturdier than Ripley. You know who I think is a hero? A woman who doesn’t care who thinks she is fuckable. She lives in the dark. Who’s gonna look at her? A mummy?

    7. Make the puzzles absolute bastards. And make Lara traverse scary places to solve them.

    8. Give her fluid, satisfying hand-to-hand combat. Lara has long legs. She is a rich girl with access to as many trainers as you like. She is built for krav maga. Give her a shotgun and a pistol so that she has them if she needs them. Make ammo scarce. Try not to give her a machine gun unless there’s some sort of implausible set piece at the end of the game. She is a tomb raider. It is implausible that she would be responsible for a large scale massacre, because she would literally rather run away with the goods than stick around to get shot.

    9. Terrify the player, but also make them so curious that they can’t possibly switch it off. Bioshock had a pretty nice balance on this because the environment was so interesting you couldn’t possibly switch it off.

    10. If you must do it, don’t have the weird supernatural monster ‘reveal’ until near the end. It’s always completely mood-dampening to realise that weird monsters are going to be thrown at you consistently until the end of the game, because you aren’t surprised or scared by them any more. Keep those moments discrete or one-offs. Somehow Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines keeps the supernatural bullshit to a minimum even though you are technically a vampire, and manages to ground most of the things that happen to you on the right side of suspension of disbelief. It also has a quest that has the most terrifying haunted house in the world, but once you’ve left it it seems like a horrible nightmare. This is the right side of the bullshit. Keep it compartmentalised. Use it to make things difficult, not for cannon fodder.

    That’s all I can think of right now.

    I love Lara and I want her to be well. I am excited for the next one. The last one was great and I put it in my Giant Bomb top games of 2013.

    You can read my old Gaming Made Me about her here.


Cara Ellison Will Now Take Your Calls

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